Cultivating happy relationships

Our lives are composed of relationships – casual ones, like the people at stores we regularly visit, and deeper relationships with partners, children, family, and other loved ones.

Society’s paradigm of successful relationships often involves compromise and sacrifice, meaning giving up parts of yourself to meet another’s needs.

Happy relationships begin when each party involved is living in a happy place, able to then bring the best of themselves to the interaction. Conforming, or compromising pieces of yourself to meet another’s expectation, cannot be the foundation for a happy relationship – it will cause resentment to build and eventually lead to a lack of self-love.Sunset background. A heart sits between two hands palms facing each other

When you can find your personal happiness and enter a relationship with another who is of the same mindset as you, you meet on a higher vibration, and are able to grow together. Each recognizes that the other person in this relationship is an individual, entering this space fulfilled, and not dependent on the other person for the way they feel.

It is not the other person’s responsibility to make you happy, nor your responsibility to make the other person happy. Entering a relationship when we are not in a happy place, tends to create a co-dependent space, where each person is relying on the other to fulfil a need. But if we fill our own cups first, we come from a strong, secure place, better able to articulate our wants, needs and desires.

Relationships are about connection, communication, and meeting on a level playing field as equals, not one party carrying the other. When we meet as equals, recognizing our individual value, and know what we each bring to a relationship, instead of compromise, it becomes a path of growing forward together.

Happy relationships are built on communication. You cannot hope to successfully communicate with your partner when you are in a negative, low-vibration state. In that space you cannot express your needs. To effectively communicate, take a step back, wait to have the conversation, and work on recentering your being – use whatever resources work for you to calm your being, raise your vibration, and allow you to get in touch with your happy state again.

Build strong, happy relationships by:
1. Finding your must-haves for your personal happiness. Write down everything that comes to you, then take a look and see what really matters.
2. Establishing what your wants, needs and desires are. If you don’t know what you want, no one else will either.
3. Having a daily happiness practice. Use tools to raise your vibration, such as meditation. This allows you to meet your partner as your most authentic self.
4. Enter into a relationship with a person who values these practices in their own life – they then understand why you need time to raise your vibration.

What can you do to elevate your happiness, creating a ripple effect of happiness in your life?

Many Blessings,



This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022