Freedom to be you  

We have all been raised with expectations of who we should be – expectations from society, family, loved ones and well-meaning people in our lives.

We have been told how to dress, who we can love, what we should believe, how to behave and even what to think.  It becomes a prison of perfection defined by others.

The weight of these expectations can make us feel trapped.  Often our love and worthiness has been associated with being able to fit those expectations.  For many there is the belief, or even a knowing, that being who they are will mean that people they care about may no longer accept them.  Society has framed love and worthiness as conditional – many of us were raised in this view, however unintentionally.

Many of us have been taught to judge our physical appearances by others’ standards, to hate that which makes us different, and to compare ourselves to others.  Many people spend time and money attempting to fit the expectations of their society. No one has the right to define who you should be.     No one can tell you what you are supposed to look like, how you should dress, who you should love or how to live, unless you allow them to.

Today, choose YOU.  Take a journey to find who you are and what matters to you.  Free yourself from the expectations of others.

Close your eyes. Be in a quiet space where you can get in touch with your being.  Listen to what your heart tells you.  ForgetBe strong Be fearless Be you about where you are supposed to be in life or what your life should look like.  This exercise is about getting in touch with the deepest part of you – your Soul. Free yourself by seeking your own truths and not the beliefs you have been given about yourself.

What do you love about yourself?  What are your favorite physical characteristics?  What do you love about your personality? What do you know to be true about yourself that you have never admitted to anyone?  This may include who you love, what you want in life, or an unusual gift you have.

Answer the following questions. Ideally, what would you like the answer to be for each question – describe it.

Do you dress according to who you are?  Do you spend time doing things that make YOU happy?  Do you associate with people who bring joy to you?  Does your work bring you pleasure, and if not, what would you rather be doing? If you could wave a magic wand, and there were no limits, what would your life look like and feel like?  What can you do to create this life – what shift can you make today?

Who you are right now, the way you look, and the battle scars you bear, make you beautiful and unique.  There is nothing you need to do to be worthy of love – your inner being loves you as you are.  Source/God/ Universe only sees the perfection in you.

Today is a good day to step into the freedom of being YOU, whatever that looks like.
What one change can you make to create freedom in your life?

Many Blessings,

Santa

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This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022