Change and Relationships

As change enters our life, we can choose to flow with it, moving in a new direction, or attempt to dig our heels in, and deny it at all costs.  Either way we are impacted.  We can choose to ignore the change for as long as it lets us.  While this option won’t rock the boat, we don’t receive the gift of evolving towards who we really are either.

However, if we choose to embrace change, with it comes personal growth, learning and the evolution of self.  This means we become a new version of ourselves. Sometimes, this new version can be threatening or uncomfortable for the people in our lives. It can bring to the surface issues that we have been avoiding.

Facing these issues with others is painful and most of us would rather avoid conflict.  We know that disrupting the flow we have with others might mean experiencing pain and difficult choices. We have to ask ourselves if staying and not embracing change is because we are not ready for the change, or because we are afraid to hurt another or rock the boat in our relationships.  From there, we get to a point where we get to decide if we want to be a priority in our own life. It's time to start living

Your life is yours to live.   When the change that invites you to move forward no longer fits the people around you, ask yourself if those are people you still want around you.  Do they support you? Are they reacting out of a need to protect you?  Or do they want you to stay as you are they are coming from a place of their own needs?  Those that are thinking only of their own perspective will never welcome any change for you. 

With those that truly care about you, communicate with them and help them understand why this path is the right one for you. Share your hopes and fears about the journey that you are undertaking, and ask for their support.   Those that care will either support you now, or if they strongly disagree, will be resigned and accept that your mind is made up.  They will eventually come around – when they do, they will be your strongest supporters. 

If you are not certain that a person will support you, and you fear their reaction, don’t share the changes you are making.  You control the timeline. You need to be ready before you share with anyone.  Most importantly, you need to be sure of your “why”.  It is only when you are ready and know why this is the right path for you, that is it wise to share – that way, no one can redirect you in a direction they think is better for you. Your life is yours to live as it feels right for you.   

Your new tribe is waiting for you.   When you choose to embrace change, you find yourself in new communities and circles as a result of the changes you are making.  This brings a new tribe of people that are on the same journey as you.

What is your “why” for choosing to pursue a change in your life?  Share and let me know.

Many Blessings,




This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022