Tools for dealing with change

Change usually arrives unexpectedly, and suddenly we are forced to make a choice.  Often such a choice feels as if it will upend our life, and we feel fearful and overwhelmed.  The fear comes from the fact that we are uncertain if this change is right for us.  Since life is a constant ebb and flow of change and growth, we can create tools to prepare ourselves when we are faced with having to make a decision.

Tools to find what is right for you:
Journaling:

Writing down everything you feel can help you tap into what is really going on inside.  Make a list of the things that are worrying you about the change.  Next to each point, ask yourself if this is something to be concerned about.  Now make another list of reasons to welcome this.  Below each point listed, write down the reasons you feel this way.

For example:  The change that I face is a health challenge. 

Why is this change a good thing?

  • I get to change my eating habits.

Why is changing my eating habits a good opportunity?   

  • I would not otherwise have taken this step.
  • I get to experience a whole new world of food while being healthy.

Writing your thoughts down can help you clarify what you are thinking and feeling on any given subject, giving you the space to know if the choice you are making is the correct one.refuel yourself every day

Going within:

Sit comfortably in a quiet space.  Close your eyes and breathe deeply until you begin to feel relaxed.  Feel the earth beneath you and use this to ground yourself.  Now imagine what your life would be if you follow through and implement the change.

  • Where are you?  What do you feel?  Who is with you?  What are you doing?  How does this moment feel to you?  Do you feel excited, anticipatory, happy?  
  • Now imagine if you did not implement the change.  What does your life feel like to you without it?  Do you feel happy?  Which picture makes you feel more alive, excited and filled with joy?  

Open your eyes.  Meditation is a great tool to connect to the message of your soul and get clarity about what is right for you.

Self-care:

Our lives are so busy we often don’t take time to connect with ourselves.  Practicing self-care allows you to get in touch with your own voice, wishes and desires.  When you know what is right for you, you are able to make decisions with more confidence.  You are able to clarify that the change you are making is because you want it and not due to the expectations and desires of others.  Self-care is about doing anything that makes you feel good, that you have wanted to do for yourself but did not prioritize time to do it.  This can be as simple as sitting quietly, taking a walk, relaxing in a bath, listening to something soothing, or even clearing out your personal space.  Clearing out your space, changing its layout or putting new decor on your walls can be a wonderful release.  Sometimes we have to let go of the old so we can bring in new opportunities that fit our lives.

What tools or techniques work well for you when you need to make a decision?  Share in the comments and let me know.

Many Blessings,

Santa

Discover more from Clinical Holistic Psychotherapy by Santa

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue Reading

RUNNING THROUGH DARKNESS
MEMOIR OF A SPIRITUAL WARRIOR

BY SANTA MOLINA-MARSHALL ‧ RELEASE DATE: MAY 3, 2022

This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022