Choose YOU!

Choose you first, and others will too. We teach others how to treat us.  As a society, self-care and putting oneself first, is becoming more acceptable.  Many of us grew up learning the belief that we need to sacrifice, compromise, and generally give up a piece of ourselves to others, in order to live a good life. 

When we choose ourselves first, we fill our cup and feel whole.  You cannot give what you don’t already have to give, even to your loved ones.  If you are constantly giving to others without caring for yourself, you eventually deplete your being and begin to feel resentful, tired andLight blur backgound with words - choose you, your life matters, you matter, love your life unhappy. When you pay attention to your needs first, you feel good within and are able to ripple this feeling out to those you care about.

Being part of a family unit means that sometimes someone else’s needs come first in that moment, but it does not mean that your needs get put in a mental box to be forgotten about. 

Putting yourself first starts with establishing what you want and need in order to feel fulfilled.  Once you know this, you can decide to include it into your daily life.  Making this decision will open the door to how you can make it happen.  It may mean that those around you will need to adjust to this development and perhaps take on a responsibility that was always theirs to begin with, and you found yourself doing it because you thought you should.  Ask yourself the following questions:

  • What does your being need?
  • What is important to you?
  • What would you like to include in your daily routine?
  • What would you like to include in your weekly routine?
  • What would you like to do that may require taking time away from your loved ones, but would feed your Soul?

Simply adding one thing to nurture yourself, into your routine, can have a profound difference in the way you feel.  This act shows that you value yourself and teaches others to value you too.  While the change may at first make people feel resistant because it impacts their comfort, they will soon see that giving you the space positively impacts them too. Those that truly care for you will become your cheerleaders.  You are the star of your life – don’t let your candle burn out.  Instead, light it brightly enough that you become the beacon – the flame for others.

The old belief is that it is selfish to give to yourself first, but the truth we have learned is that not caring for self first does far more harm to the people we love and the relationships that matter to us.  Choose you today – pick one thing from your list and implement it into your life today.

What are you choosing to add to your routine that is just for you?

Many Blessings,




This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022