Trusting self does not come easily when you have been through trauma or difficult experiences. We tend to question ourselves, doubt our perspectives, or even hand over our power to others.
Personal power is built on the ability to trust self. When we doubt ourselves, we lose faith in life. Our experiences may erode this trust, so we need to actively build it. Life is about learning and growing, and our experiences contribute to this learning and our personal evolution. The tough experiences are our greatest teachers but we need to separate who we are from the traumatic experiences we have had. We come into this world as perfectly aligned beings, with complete trust in ourselves and our lives – when we go through trauma, we tend to blend the situation with who we are, when they are entirely separate. That traumatic situation could happen to anyone, thus existing without the person, but without that experience you would still exist.
When we lose trust, we choose safe paths because, no matter how uncomfortable they are, these paths are within our known comfort zone. When we stop trusting ourselves, we give others the power to make decisions for us, and drift along aimlessly, living the life they choose for us. We get to rebuild this trust, to gain confidence in the decisions we make, and claim our power.
Rebuild or reinforce trust in yourself by:
1. Practicing with the little things and being conscious. Small safe actions are a good way to show yourself just how capable you are. For example, have you had the experience where you locked a door and then had to go back and double check because you doubted yourself? If you had done it consciously, or you trusted your awareness, you would not need to check. Being aware of the small things you do is an easy way to learn to trust yourself again – you begin to see how capable you are.
2. Know you came into the world with all the tools and resources built within for you to thrive. Life might have tossed you around a little, but it also taught you who you are and what you are capable of. Think of all the ways you keep succeeding in life. As you start to think of all the good choices you have made, the success in various areas of your life, and the things you did without reservation, you will begin to see just how much of that still lives within you.
3. Forgive yourself for the ways you think you have let yourself down. We measure life by the successes we have, but it is equally about those moments we think we’ve failed – those are the growth moments that shape us. Making choices or taking paths that did not serve us is not a reflection of who we are. They are simply choices that we could have made differently.
Go back to any experience you are holding onto that keeps you from moving forward in life. See yourself in that experience through a lens of love and compassion. Recognize that you did the best you could with where you were in that moment. What have you learned about yourself from that experience? Now take a journey back to that place and the person you were then, and hug that version of you. Forgive them for their choice. Let them know they will get through the experience and be stronger for it. Give them the unconditional love they needed back then. Now come back to the present and give yourself permission to release whatever you are holding onto from that experience. Be free and trust yourself again.
Choose yourself each day. You are worthy of placing trust in yourself and, as you seek evidence of this, you will find it.