It’s easy to fall into the trap of letting what is going on around us determine how we feel. We give away our power to the external – when things are good we feel good and when things are tough, we feel like life is impossible.
If we operate from this state, we always end up reacting to whatever comes our way. We feel out of control and helpless. While the things happening in our external world certainly have an effect on the way we feel and what we are dealing with, they do not determine our internal state. Only we can decide what that state will be. This is where our power lies.
Learning to separate how you feel about yourself and your life from what is going on around you, is a journey. We are taught from a young age to respond to life, when instead, we can create our lives through our thoughts, beliefs and inspired actions.
Separate yourself and your internal state from your external environment:
Recognize the power within you:
While we cannot control the world around us, we can choose our perspective, our thoughts and in what direction we will allow our emotions to lead us. Stop and take notice of the thoughts you are thinking. Are they supporting your struggle? Do they reinforce the reasons why a situation is happening? Are they filled with self-blame? Turn your thoughts to appreciation – what, in this moment, can you appreciate? Perhaps it is the view around you, your breathing, a pleasant taste or smell, or even a loved one. One thought triggers another similar thought, so when we keep tuning our thoughts to appreciation, we shift our internal state, and thus our perspective of the situation. In this space, the answers come to us.
Choose your response:
We usually have a default response to a crisis based on our past experiences and beliefs. These responses cause us to react without conscious thought or awareness. Some experiences show up repeatedly in different forms to allow us to grow. We get to choose our response – instead of going to an old default, we can choose a new way to respond. We do this by pausing and consciously choosing how we will approach the situation, beginning with what our ideal outcome would be.
When things are spinning out of control, if we continue to be aware of the chaos, we are sucked further into this state. We attract more of it. Instead stop and take an intentional pause. The idea is to stop thought and create a complete break from the present, external situation. Meditation is an ideal way to do this, but if that does not work for you, use the power of breath. Take at least 5 minutes to sit quietly and deep-breathe, focusing solely on the body, the expansion and contraction of your lungs and chest muscles, the steady rhythm of your heart, and the sound of your breathing. Whenever a thought comes, gently push it away without giving it attention. Do this until you feel calm again. From here, focus on the things that you are grateful for, that are working in your life and that bring you joy. This recentering creates space to go back to the situation you are facing and see it in a new light.
We all need the reminder that we are always, unconditionally supported by Source/God/Goddess/Universe, and that help is always at hand. Connect with this power to recenter your being.