Coming back to center no matter what

It’s easy to fall into the trap of letting what is going on around us determine how we feel.  We give away our power to the external – when things are good we feel good and when things are tough, we feel like life is impossible.

If we operate from this state, we always end up reacting to whatever comes our way.  We feel out of control and helpless.  While the things happening in our external world certainly have an effect on the way we feel and what we are dealing with, they do not determine our internal state.  Only we can decide what that state will be.   This is where our power lies.

Learning to separate how you feel about yourself and your life from what is going on around you, is a journey.  We are taught from a young age to respond to life, when instead, we can create our lives through our thoughts, beliefs and inspired actions.

Separate yourself and your internal state from your external environment:

Recognize the power within you:
While we cannot control the world around us, we can choose our perspective, our thoughts and in what direction we will allow our emotions to lead us.  Stop and take notice of the thoughts you are thinking.  Are they supporting your struggle?  Do they reinforce the reasons why a situation is happening?  Are they filled with self-blame?  Turn your thoughts to appreciation – what, in this moment, can you appreciate?  Perhaps it is the view around you, your breathing, a pleasant taste or smell, or even a loved one.  One thought triggers another similar thought, so when we keep tuning our thoughts to appreciation, we shift our internal state, and thus our perspective of the situation.  In this space, the answers come to us.A calm golden sunset in the background with a stack of rock on sand in front

Choose your response: 
We usually have a default response to a crisis based on our past experiences and beliefs. These responses cause us to react without conscious thought or awareness.  Some experiences show up repeatedly in different forms to allow us to grow.  We get to choose our response – instead of going to an old default, we can choose a new way to respond.   We do this by pausing and consciously choosing how we will approach the situation, beginning with what our ideal outcome would be.

Quiet pause:
When things are spinning out of control, if we continue to be aware of the chaos, we are sucked further into this state.  We attract more of it. Instead stop and take an intentional pause.  The idea is to stop thought and create a complete break from the present, external situation.  Meditation is an ideal way to do this, but if that does not work for you, use the power of breath. Take at least 5 minutes to sit quietly and deep-breathe, focusing solely on the body, the expansion and contraction of your lungs and chest muscles, the steady rhythm of your heart, and the sound of your breathing.  Whenever a thought comes, gently push it away without giving it attention.  Do this until you feel calm again.  From here, focus on the things that you are grateful for, that are working in your life and that bring you joy.  This recentering creates space to go back to the situation you are facing and see it in a new light. 

We all need the reminder that we are always, unconditionally supported by Source/God/Goddess/Universe, and that help is always at hand.   Connect with this power to recenter your being.

Many Blessings,



This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022