Empowering yourself in difficult situations

We may find ourselves stuck in habitual reactions to certain people or situations, repeating the way we respond to such situations.  We can empower ourselves to create new and conscious reactions to difficult situations or people, instead of reacting in the moment.  We do this by making the choice to stand up for ourselves and deciding that we matter first in our lives.

1. Choosing your future interaction with a specific person:

If there is a recurring interaction with a certain person such as a boss or close relative, and you feel that, in the past, you gave away your power or perhaps lost control of your emotions, think about how you would have liked to respond instead. Since you will have repeated interactions with this person, instead of reacting, choose how you would like the interaction to go in the future.

Thinking back to an experience that occurred, and your preferred outcome, allows you to home in on how you would like to respond in a way that fits you as well as the scope of interaction you have with that person.   You empower yourself to choose how the next interaction will go. For example, if your boss tends to put you down and make you feel bad, how can you graciously stand up for yourself? What are the words you would like to use to let that person know that such behavior is not appropriate and will not be accepted? 

Standing up for ourselves when we are not used to doing so can feel hard and uncomfortable at first. Yes you can! With practice, we get better at saying no to being treated in a way that is unacceptable.  People treat us as we allow them to treat us.  When we take the brave step of standing up to them, they either change or choose to no longer be part of our lives.

2. Preparing for opportunities that feel hard:  

Sometimes we have opportunities to step up in a way that feels uncomfortable, such as doing a presentation, being in the spotlight, or asking for what we feel we deserve.  Rehearsing how you wish an experience would occur, allows you to go into that experience with a steady mind and new level of confidence.   When you have mentally walked through the possible outcomes, and your part in the experience, you feel ready to step into that experience.
By practicing that interaction or presentation, visualizing the response of the other person or audience, and creating the feeling you would like in that moment, you feel prepared and in control. It also empowers you to see that your fears and discomforts are not as big as you think.  You walk into the experience with a new level of confidence and clarity of the outcome you desire.  Just the act of thinking about the way you’d like the experience to go, begins to change the way you approach the situation.  Your newfound confidence and clarity comes through to others and influences their response to you.

3. If you are in the middle of a difficult situation:

Take a few moments to breathe.  If you can, close your eyes and envision yourself through the eyes of Source/God/Universe.  See the powerful and beautiful soul you are.  Find 5 things to feel grateful for, to reset your state of mind.  From this place, go forward with the knowing that you can thrive in this moment and you can achieve your desired outcome.  You can do this.

What practice works best to prepare you for facing difficult moments? 

Many Blessings,

Santa

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RUNNING THROUGH DARKNESS
MEMOIR OF A SPIRITUAL WARRIOR

BY SANTA MOLINA-MARSHALL ‧ RELEASE DATE: MAY 3, 2022

This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022