Fear from the Past

As we move through life, our experiences shape us. We create patterns of behaviors based on those experiences, including unconsciously learning to fear things, especially the unknown.

Our past experiences play a large part in how we live in the present and create our future. While this is true, they can also keep us stuck in old patterns, behaviors and thoughts, at the root of which, lies fear.

While sometimes looking back can be beneficial to determine what shaped our reactions, we can also find ourselves stayingPink hot air balloon - fear from the past stuck in the past and repeating old patterns in our present. If we keep looking back, we don’t move forward; we live in the past, recreating that life.

Holding onto past fears impacts the present and the future. When opportunities arise, we may find ourselves creating reasons why they do not fit us, when in fact they do. We do this out of a fear created from a past experience. Much like if you burn your hand on a hot stove, next time you exercise more caution and perhaps do your best to avoid the experience altogether. Fear can protect us in the moment, but if we allow past fears to remain, they can limit our power to create the future.

In what ways have you stopped yourself from going after something that mattered to you?

  • Make a list of things you would like to do and the reason you have not done them yet?
  • As you look at each reason, ask yourself if this is really the reason or if you’re associating this new experience with a traumatic past experience, thereby creating reasons for not going after what you desire.

We all do this. Sometimes these reasons stem from childhood while at other times a recent experience or something someone says to you, can trigger an old fear. It is not necessary to know which past experience made you create this limit, or whether it was created consciously or unconsciously. It is the knowing that something within you created this limit to protect yourself, that allows your healing and provides the power to move forward. Once you have the knowing, take another look at the opportunity and ask yourself if this opportunity or experience is the correct path for you now. If the answer is yes, take an action step in the direction of the opportunity to create a future that is no longer based on past fears.

We get to choose! It is time to see if we still need the protections our past fears created – they need not become barriers confining us to repeating our past.

  • Close your eyes and go within.
  • Thank your past fears for creating a space of protection to help you cope, then set them free. You don’t need to name the fears or know where they stem from.
  • Acknowledge their existence and allow the thought that it is safe for them to dissolve and leave you now, making room for the new.
What new experience or opportunity feels possible for you to pursue now?

Many Blessings,
Santa

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RUNNING THROUGH DARKNESS
MEMOIR OF A SPIRITUAL WARRIOR

BY SANTA MOLINA-MARSHALL ‧ RELEASE DATE: MAY 3, 2022

This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022