Loving Yourself While Loving Others

Loving and caring for people is part of the human condition. We naturally and instinctively give to others.  We are taught from a young age, through school and the example of those who raise us, what it means to love and to give to others.  As a result of seeing this, we have adopted behaviors and cultivated beliefs that may or may not serve us.

We can show love to others while still caring for self.  The power lies in doing it without sacrificing ourselves. When your tank runs empty, life becomes harder and you feel low.  Keeping your tank full means balancing the love you give to others with your personal needs. 

Create this balance by:

  1. Putting yourself first:

We are often taught to put others first, and struggle with the idea that putting ourselves first is okay. In order to make aLove yourself while loving others. A tree shaped like earth with two red hearts in the background difference in others’ lives, you have to start with yourself.  To bring your best to others, you need to be at your best.  What are you giving to yourself each day?

  1. Know your limits before you crash into them:

We all have a limit of not being able to give anymore.  Instead of letting life and the expectations of others dictate your path, simply say, “ No, not today.”

  1. Setting boundaries for yourself and others:

 We show others how to treat us.  If we don’t care for ourselves, others forget to care for our well-being.  Perhaps you wish to take a class but feel that you don’t have the time because of commitments.  Rearrange the way you do things so that it becomes possible for you to do this.  At first there may be friction with those who need to adjust to your schedule, but when they see you finding joy, they will eventually support you.  Establishing boundaries is a gift to self and those you interact with.  It allows everyone to interact from a respectful space.

  1. Consciously checking in with self about your values, beliefs and feelings:

There are tasks we do because we’ve always done them or because we’ve grown up associating said task with being a loving person.  Checking in to see if the task we are doing for someone still fits with our values and beliefs, allow us to choose how we spend our time.  For example, there may be a person you regularly spend time with, however, you have both grown in different directions, and your interaction is no longer satisfying for you.  It does not mean saying goodbye to that person, but rather choosing how and when you spend time with them.  Spend more time with people on your level instead. 

  1. Reminding yourself that you are the most important piece in your life:

We become so many things to so many people that it is easy to forget we are the most important person in our lives.  Schedule regular time to give to self so that when you interact with the world, you are able to do it from a loving space, instead of feeling frustrated and resentful.  When you care for self, you come into alignment with who you are, and the knowing that you will be okay.  You are not alone.  You are always supported by Source/God/Goddess/Universe.

How are you loving yourself while loving others today? Share and let me know.

Many Blessings,
Santa

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RUNNING THROUGH DARKNESS
MEMOIR OF A SPIRITUAL WARRIOR

BY SANTA MOLINA-MARSHALL ‧ RELEASE DATE: MAY 3, 2022

This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022