This is the time of year that is cemented in rituals and traditions. Some we do because we love to, others have become a habit. We spend countless hours preparing for the occasion, sometimes to the point that when it arrives, we just don’t have the energy to enjoy it.
Are there rituals that you don’t like but do regularly, maybe because that is the way you grew up or that’s the way it’s always done? Do you know which rituals you love and which you don’t?
Take a moment to close your eyes, think of all the rituals or traditions that you will be doing this year. What supports you; what makes this time more special for you and those you love; what feeds your soul? Go through each one.
How does each ritual make you feel inside?
- Does it light you up with excitement?
- Do you feel knots in you tummy when you think about doing it?
- Does it make you smile and think it’s all worth the effort?
- Do you feel overwhelmed, exhausted and resentful of having to do it?
So often in our desire to get through the holidays, to get everything right, to have the perfect holiday, we forget to consider our own needs.
This year, make a choice to choose you. Give yourself permission to choose what rituals and traditions you will follow. Or if you have found a few that don’t fit you anymore, create new rituals and traditions that fit the person you are now. We are constantly growing and going through different phases in our lives, so what worked then does not necessary fit who we are now. It is important to create new rituals and traditions that fit who are you and the life you have chosen for yourself.
Part of choosing you is not giving in to others expectations of you. When you are a survivor of childhood sexual abuse or any other form of abuse, often people expect you to forgive and let let go just because it’s the holidays; to spend time and be in places and with people who have abused you and perpetrated you. There is conflict is wanting to be with family while at the same time knowing that those who may be there are people who don’t support your recovery, your healing.
At this time of celebration, keep choosing YOU.
Give yourself permission to choose what you do and where you go, what family you spend your precious time with and which groups you celebrate and socialize with. Being around people that support you, make you happy and share your values and beliefs, is something you owe yourself.
You are worthy and need never compromise who you are at your deepest self to please others, even over the holidays. Value yourself the way you would a dear friend, and give yourself permission to choose. Listen to your soul and make this holiday season yours! And remember, family is about who you choose, not where you were born!
Have you grown up with a particular ritual or tradition that you love or have created? Share and let me know.
Be Well, Be Blessed.