Rituals, Traditions and Choosing YOU!

This is the time of year that is cemented in rituals and traditions.  Some we do because we love to, others have become a habit. We spend countless hours preparing for the occasion, sometimes to the point that when it arrives, we just don’t have the energy to enjoy it.

Are there rituals that you don’t like but do regularly, maybe because that is the way you grew up or that’s the way it’s always done?  Do you know which rituals you love and which you don’t?

Take a moment to close your eyes, think of all the rituals or traditions that you will be doing this year.  What supports you; what makes this time more special for you and those you love; what feeds your soul?  Go through each one. 

How does each ritual make you feel inside?

      • Does it light you up with excitement?
      • Do you feel knots in you tummy when you think about doing it?
      • Does it make you smile and think it’s all worth the effort?
      • Do you feel overwhelmed, exhausted and resentful of having to do it?

So often in our desire to get through the holidays, to get everything right, to have the perfect holiday, we forget to consider our own needs.

This year, make a choice to choose youGive yourself permission to choose what rituals and traditions you will follow.  Or if you have found a few that don’t fit you anymore, create new rituals and traditions that fit the person you are now.  We are constantly growing and going through different phases in our lives, so what worked then does not necessary fit who we are now.  It is important to create new rituals and traditions that fit who are you and the life you have chosen for yourself.

Part of choosing you is not giving in to others expectations of you.  When you are  a survivor of childhood sexual abuse or any other form of abuse, often people expect you to forgive and let let go just because it’s the holidays; to spend time and be in places and with people who have abused you and perpetrated you.  There is conflict is wanting to be with family while at the same time knowing that those who may be there are people who don’t support your recovery, your healing. 

At this time of celebration, keep choosing YOU. Happy Holidays

Give yourself permission to choose what you do and where you go, what family you spend your precious time with and which groups you celebrate and socialize with.  Being around people that support you, make you happy and share your values and beliefs, is something you owe yourself. 

You are worthy and need never compromise who you are at your deepest self to please others, even over the holidays.  Value yourself the way you would a dear friend, and give yourself permission to choose. Listen to your soul and make this holiday season yours!  And remember, family is about who you choose, not where you were born!

Have you grown up with a particular ritual or tradition that you love or have created? Share and let me know.

Be Well, Be Blessed.




This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022