Step 4. Holding Each Other to Their Truths

“Beliefs are choices. First you choose your beliefs. Then your beliefs affect your choices.”  ~ Roy T. Bennett

At one time or another, we have all listened to what is being said but in our minds not truly believed it.  This doubt we created inadvertently built a wall between ourselves and the people we were communicating with.

Doubt is wily, creating new truths and beliefs to match our ideas, fears and anxieties.  Just believing the truth in the face of self-created doubt is hard.  It takes work to get this one right.

So how does one go about getting this right? Onto step 4.

4. Holding Each other to their truths:

Choose to believe even when you wonder if what is being offered is the truth. You agree to be honest and to open yourself up to trusting, letting go of the fear of dishonesty.  

Assume honesty at all costs, until the assumption is confirmed.4.truth relationships

Trust what is being said, even when the illusions in our minds tell us differently.

Always be honest – even if it hurts.

Agree to shift the gears in the middle of confusion – choose clarity particularly in the darkness. 

Holding each other to your truth means expecting your partner to be who you know them to be, in their highest self. This means reminding them that you expect them to come from that place.  

It also means holding both ourselves and our partners to our highest being.

In creating scared relationships always remember that you are only half of the relationship, and thus are only half responsible for the success of the relationship. Only by working together can you achieve the ultimate sacred relationship.

  • In your current relationships, do you tend to come from a place of doubt or do you choose to believe first and act in your truth? Think about this and answer honestly to yourself, dear Reader.
  • What is your biggest fear in choosing belief over doubt?
  • In you next interaction, take a moment to come from your highest self.  Please share your discoveries from doing this.




This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022