Alone but not isolated

At this time in our world, with so many things off-limits, those of us who are living alone, for whatever reason, may feel that there is too much silence.  The action, the white noise, the busyness that kept us surrounded by other people, has disappeared.

This leaves us alone with our thoughts, emotions, stresses and worries. 

Living alone can be a wonderful experience.  Being in charge of every decision your make without it having an influence on another and thus having to consider another, is powerful and freeing.  But right now, without being able to compensate for the quiet at home and without being able to go out freely to seek the entertainment, support and company that one is used to, or working outside of the home, we are left too much on our own.10

The danger of this right now, is that without other human contact, we have fewer ways to grow learn and develop as people. The other issue is that we are left face-to-face with our demons, fears and anxieties, with no distraction to compensate.  If we are ready for this, it can empower us to begin the healing journey; if we are not quite ready, we are prone to get dispirited.

Healing is a process.  It is a journey of personal evolution into a stronger , empowered and new version of you.  While you are moving in that direction, it is vital to monitor how you feel each day.  Create a set of action steps that you can use to help you cope with the silence of your own voice.  Find tools for those moments when you are starting to feel down, lonely and stressed.

Find ways to communicate so you keep growing as a person:

  • What do you enjoy listening to, watching, or reading that puts you in a better state of mind?
  • Where do you enjoy walking, sitting or spending time that relaxes you? Pick a few places, even if it is a spot in your garden that you can turn into a sanctuary to relax.
  • Who do you enjoy talking to that leave you feeling happy? Set up a list of go-to contacts you can message, call or video-chat with when you need a boost.
  • What activities do you enjoy that feel good?  Create a list so when you find yourself with time on your hands, you know exactly what you can do without having to think.  It especially helps to have a list for those times when you are feeling emotionally down and when thinking is an effort.  This way you will immediately know what choices you have.

Take time to take care of yourself, the way you look, the clothes you wear.   Dress for who you are, in what feels good to you.  Pajamas are great to lounge around in, but sometimes putting on clothes with care, dressing according to your personality, helps remind you that you matter and that your time is important.

Most of all, remember that you are a strong, capable, worthy person, who belongs right here, right now where you are.  No matter what your past has been, or what traumatic experiences you have had, you are worthy and you deserve the world.

What is your go-to activity to help you feel good?  Let me know.

Be Well, Be Blessed




This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022