Joyful Communication

For the first time ever we are in the unique situation of being around our families or partners all day, every day.  For most people who are not going into a job , or are not able to leave the house except for essentials, we find our focus shifted to our environment and the people in it.

This is a two-fold situation.  On one hand, we are grateful for the time we have been all but mandated to spend with our loved ones, but on the other hand, there is no break from them.  This is not something most of us have experienced since we had the separation of work, school and outside projects that allowed us to have space from one another. 

We may find ourselves on an emotional roller coaster with our loved ones.  We may  feel the frustrations we now have the time to notice, and then perhaps experience anger and guilt for feeling this way.  So how can we make the most of this time to move ourselves and our families into a state of joy, and transform our personal lives as a result?

Communication is at the heart of any successful relationship.  This applies most to loved ones we share a home with.  We often just sweep things that trouble us under the rug and promise ourselves we will get to these issues in the future.  But this leads to things building up and causes resentment, frustration, anger and stress.

Right now we have a chance to heal that which needs healing in our relationship. 

1. Start by taking a moment to see what is at the heart of the issue troubling you before you express what you are feeling. 

  • Look at why it bothers you so much – is it really just masking something else or is it the real issue?   
  •  What are your emotions telling you? 

2. Next, think about what it is you want to say. 

  • Come from a place of love, state the facts and focus only on the issue you are dealing with;  leave all the past moments that you think may relate to the issue, out of the discussion. Blog 4 self communication
  • Set aside any emotional responses and triggers. 
  • Articulate your point clearly and let your partner or spouse know that what is troubling you, why, and what you think the solution is to your situation. 
  • Then allow them to express what their thoughts on the matter are, why they feel the way they do or react a certain way, and what they need. 
  • The idea is to create a solution and a resolution so you are both left feeling better for the discussion. 

3. Be patient and understanding of the needs of your partner while sharing your own needs. 

  • If you find the conversation has moved away from being constructive, stop, take a walk, and clear your head. Then when you are both calm, revisit it again in a more productive way.  
  • You are both in this together. Communicate so that everyone gets the best.  

Children, in this uncertain time, are also left adrift and having to adapt without many tools.

  • Be patient with your children. 
  • Listen to what they are really saying with their behaviors and why. 
  • Have a conversation with them, allowing them to express what they are feeling. 
  • Help them get to the heart of what is really bothering them and then come up with a solution together that helps them through this. 

With most people working from home, they can be a little more flexible with their daily routines and time.  It is vital to create your working hours, and let your children and partner know that this is your designated time to work.  Let every person you share a home with know what is acceptable to discuss or do in your working space, and what is an absolute no.  It is easy for our lives to blend in a way that becomes counter-productive.   But by setting a routine and an area designed for our work, we can do more with less time and still have time and energy to give to our loved ones.   This will allow us to make the most of the time we have locked in with our loved ones.

What are you doing to share joy with your loved ones?  Share and let me know.

Be well, Be Blessed

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RUNNING THROUGH DARKNESS
MEMOIR OF A SPIRITUAL WARRIOR

BY SANTA MOLINA-MARSHALL ‧ RELEASE DATE: MAY 3, 2022

This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022