Free Yourself of Limitations

Going through trauma changes us.  To survive difficult experiences, we develop coping mechanisms and habits that we incorporate into our being. This becomes part of who we are and what we think is possible for ourselves.

In a basic example, if you break your arm, you have a period where you can no longer use that arm while it heals, so you teach yourself to compensate with your other arm and different parts of your body to get things done.  When the broken arm is healed, you may find there are times when you are still not using that arm until you remind yourself that you can. 

In the same way, when we have been through trauma, we have taught ourselves what was safe and what  was not safe; what we could do and what we were not able to do; what was open for us and what we needed to avoid.  We developed habits and behaviors that served us at thatA blue wave of water against a sunset sky.  The water forms a heart with the words,  " free yourself of your limitations'. time.   As we heal and grow, we need to check and see if those habits and behaviors are still serving us or if they have become limitations instead.

As humans, we are constantly creating habits.  Sometimes these habits are intentional, but often they are born from a situation, and we may not even be aware that we have been practicing them.  The lessons we learn – those that we are aware of and those we’re not conscious of – shape our habits. 

As we walk our paths of healing, we need to revisit our beliefs, habit and behaviors. 

Check in with yourself:

  1. Take notice of what you are saying yes to and what you are saying no to.  Is there something that you really want to be, do or have, but are not going for it?  If so, is this a limit that exists because of a past experience?

  2. Become aware of the thoughts you think. Pay attention to the words you use about yourself – both out loud and in your thoughts.  Do you find yourself limiting your opportunities through your thoughts?  Maybe a job opportunity appears that you would really like to go for, yet you are thinking that you won’t get selected for it.  The thought becomes your limit, and you don’t even try to go for the opportunity.  Does this thought come from a similar past experience?

  3. Take notice of the words the people you are most often around, use to describe you. Are they supportive and kind?  Do the people you consider your inner circle believe in you?  Are you holding limiting beliefs that came from their words?  Has the external input become a limitation in your life?  If so, it’s time to change this. 

Becoming aware of the ways we may be limiting ourselves, frees us to claim the life we desire. 

How are you unconsciously limiting yourself and what are you doing to change this?

Many Blessings,

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This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022