Why you say NO to yourself

How often do you talk yourself out of things?  We are taught from a young age that putting ourselves first is selfish and that we need to earn the right to go after an opportunity.  This teaching creates the mindset that, for example, we are not enough to go after that dream job, or that someone will be better off getting it instead.  So we learn to talk ourselves out of the things we really want and also to sacrifice them.

When an opportunity arises, instead of saying no to yourself, check in and see why you are talking yourself out of it. Often the reasons we do this are from fear, feeling that we need to be the best at something before we can attempt it, or that someone needs it more than we do.

Fear can become our greatest limitation or a powerful motivator.   If we let the fear of not being good enough or not being qualified or worthy enough stop us, we remain stuck.  Instead, we can use the fear for our highest good – we can look at what we fear would happen, and how we can counter this.   If our fears are warning us of danger, we can listen to what they are really saying and determine how we can use them to empower ourselves.

The other reason we say no to ourselves is the feeling that we need to be the best at something first before we can even consider it.  This idea is false and likely comes from school days.  There will always be more to learn about everything, and as long as you are always one step ahead of those you are leading, you are in good stead to go for your dream opportunity or business. Say yes to yourself why you say no blog 2 may 2024

As for someone else needing the opportunity more – why not you?  If an opportunity is something that matters to you, it is absolutely right that you go after it.  Anything else would leave you feeling unfulfilled, and life is meant to be a joyous experience.

It is time to give yourself permission to say YES to yourself every day.

Start by doing the following:

  1. Add daily self-care practice to your morning routine. The simple of act of practicing self-care affirms to yourself that you are important.  Starting your day with a self-care practice puts you at the top of your to-do list, and everything from that point onwards can only go better.

  2. Spend time on your dream. If you are not living a life that feels fulfilling, you end up being stuck where you are.  If something matters to you, add in dedicated time to spend on it.  When you say yes to you, everything in your life lines up to make it work.

  3. Feel the fear but step bravely forward: Going after a dream or saying yes to yourself about something that matters is uncomfortable at first.  If you can step past the discomfort, the world opens up for you.  Take that first step anyway and, in understanding where the fear comes from, let it motivate you forward.
Today, say YES to yourself about at least one thing that is important to you.  Join us in community as we explore this topic and more!

Many Blessings,
Santa

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RUNNING THROUGH DARKNESS
MEMOIR OF A SPIRITUAL WARRIOR

BY SANTA MOLINA-MARSHALL ‧ RELEASE DATE: MAY 3, 2022

This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022