Healing – Part 1

We discussed abuse in all in its forms in the last blog.  This week I want to share more about the journey to healing. 

How long does it take to heal from sexual abuse?

Although many ask this question, a response is impossible.  There are many factors affecting the impact of the occurrence.  Every person is unique and every sexual abuse experience and dysfunctional family system is different.   However, there are some factors that can affect the healing journey:

  • Your age at the time of the event (s).
  • Whether you told someone and the degree of support you received and whether you were believed.
  • Were there multiple forms of abuse at once?  
  • Were you able to get away from the perpetrator (s) (at the moment and throughout time) and find a safe space?

Resources and access to services play a critical role in healing.

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  • Don’t be afraid to seek support, both traditional and non-traditional.
  • Find resources that encourage you and guide you to address not just your thoughts (mind), but your body and spirit. In my case I did not stop with talk therapy.  I explored many different ways, and every healing experience bought me closer/returned me to my true self. 

Although many believe that the process of healing from sexual abuse occurs in stages and in a linear fashion, what I have discovered from my healing journey and that of hundreds of survivors I been honored to work with, is that the journey again, is different for different people.  But what many have in common is, both the desire and fear to tell the story of what happened, and the immense degree of shame, self-blame and anger often towards self for “allowing it” (NOT TRUE)

The healing process is more a circular experience, where you revisit some of the same issues and even behaviors, but as time goes on, the experience is a bit more and more distant from the impact of the trauma, sometimes making it possible to address areas that were either not available before or too scary to visit and explore, the first time around.

How long have you been on your healing journey?

What therapies, rituals and practices have you explored?

Here are some of the many things I tried in search for wholeness: 

  • Talk Therapies (of which there are many)
  • Massage and Dance/Movement Therapies,
  • Yoga,
  • Energy Work (such as Reiki, Polarity and Reflexology, etc.),
  • Aromatherapy,
  • Spiritual Practices
  • Writing/Art 

Would you or have you explored some of these modalities, what was your experience?

Stay tuned.  We will be exploring ways to assist in the healing process further in the coming weeks.

Be Well, Be Blessed

Santa

 

 

 

 

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RUNNING THROUGH DARKNESS
MEMOIR OF A SPIRITUAL WARRIOR

BY SANTA MOLINA-MARSHALL ‧ RELEASE DATE: MAY 3, 2022

This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022