Staying Connected

Our world is slowing opening up again.  But in the meantime, many of us find ourselves at home, in lockdown, either alone or with our family.

Being in your house alone, not being able to go out, socialize and spend time with others can make one feel very lonely or unhappy.  Going out is form of release, an opportunity to grow, and a chance to get out of our heads.  With that taken away, it is easy to slide into a dark and lonely place. 

At this time especially, it is vital that we keep up the same level of communication with others that we previously had. 

Let yourself take time for joyful calls even though you are using technology for work. Take time to make coffee dates online; chat to different people.  At least once a day have a conversation or video call with one person.   And once a week spend time with someone new.  In our busy lives, there are many people we want to connect with, spend time with or even get to know better.  Right now we have the opportunity to spend time with those people we rarely get to connect with.  Instead of feeling alone, use this as an opportunity to strengthen existing connections and build new ones. Conversation and communication will keep us sane.

Make sure you are not distancing yourself from others just because you are not face-to-face.  Treat your online conversations the way you would if the person was in front of you.  Give the same attention, care and love to each conversation, whether it is a chat or a video call. Be present and be conscious about the conversation you are having.  Right now, that screen is your window into the world, allowing you to let go and be free while still living in your safe space.  Use this as a means to let others get to know you better, to allow selected people into your world and create your support system.  At the same time, be someone else’s support system too. 

With this new way of primary communication, getting our tone, thought and meaning across can be tricky.  Communication we receive can leave us feeling confused or even hurt by what we received.  Even video calls can leave us feeling like Blog 2maybe the other person was not really present in our conversation.  If you find yourself on the receiving end of this, communicating your thoughts and feelings is essential.  Discussing what happened in a way that allows a solution is vital for  you and the other party to learn and grow. 

A few key tips to help:

  • Start with: “I feel….” Say this without any blame.
  • Ask: “How can we communicate better?”
  • Ask: “What do you need?  How can I support you?”
  • In an instance where you might have shared in the miscommunication, ask:  “Can we have a do-over?”

Real communication is about having a constructive conversation that leaves you and the other person feeling better at the end of it.  If you don’t feel that a conversation is constructive, you can choose to stop communicating.

The choice is always yours and it is always important to trust and respect your feelings about any interaction.  Be kind to yourself.  And just BE yourself.

 Who would you like to connect with today?

Be well, Be Blessed

Santa

RUNNING THROUGH DARKNESS
MEMOIR OF A SPIRITUAL WARRIOR

BY SANTA MOLINA-MARSHALL ‧ RELEASE DATE: MAY 3, 2022

This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022