Knowing and Connecting with Self

We have been shaped by the people who raised us, the adults we interacted with while growing up, the schools we attended and all our past experiences and interactions.  We created ways of doing things, habits of thought, and automatic responses and reactions based on these external influences.  When last did you check in with yourself to determine if the way you live is according to who you are and not the influences and expectations of others?

Do you know who you really are?  Have you taken time to find out?  If not, take this moment and explore with me:

What matters?

YOU – you are the most important person in your life.  Your Soul knows what calls to you and who the real you is.  Only you getknow your worth, love yourself, just be yourself, you are enough, be kind to youself decide what really matters to you, how you dress, what you care about, and what you want out of life.  No one else has the right to choose for you.  Claim your personal power and let yourself shine.  Neither your past experiences nor the people around you can dictate your path unless you allow them to.  Take a journal and explore what your life would look like ideally, starting with these areas: relationships, health, finances, career/business, interests, and adventures you desire.  What, from this list, can you bring into your current reality?

Invest in yourself:

When last did you invest in yourself?  We easily spend time and money on things and people, including family, house maintenance and more, yet we feel the need to justify spending on ourselves.  Perhaps investing in self could be going for a spa treatment, studying something new to upskill or for the joy of it, spending on your personal or spiritual growth, or perhaps taking time off from work to recharge.   Investing in yourself is showing love to yourself and, much like breathing, it should be a normal, vital part of life.  In what way have you been wanting to spend time or money on yourself and how are you going to make this happen?

People:

As we evolve, the people around us are not always on their own growth journey.  We may find that people we used to love being around don’t feel quite the same anymore.  Perhaps it feels as if they are not as supportive as they used to be, or it might be stifling or uncomfortable to be around them.  Our lives are intertwined with each other for a reason – sometimes we are the teacher, healer or friend, and sometimes we are on the receiving end of this.  Strong, supportive relationships grow with you, and those that don’t, may no longer fit the new you.  Letting go of people that do not serve you can be painful since you may have a deep history, but who you are now is as important as the person you were then, and if they cannot support this growth, then they have become your challenge instead of your cheerleader.  When you choose to give your time to the people who support the journey you are on, you will find a tribe that fits, and you will notice your life moving in the direction that calls to you.

In some way, we are all healing.  Part of this journey is knowing, connecting with, and loving self.  No matter what your past looks like, this is a work in progress for all of us.  It can be work, or it can a be an adventure of discovery and possibility.  You get to choose.

If you are on a journey of exploring self and looking to do this in a safe, supportive, and non-judgmental space, join me in my Trauma to Triumph community. It is a space to heal, grow, and celebrate self, whatever that looks like.  Join here.

Many Blessings,

 Santa

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This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022