Nurturing Yourself and Others

In the last blog, I shared about how those of us who have been through trauma need to mother ourselves.  This starts with self- care – the act of nurturing and giving to self.

You cannot help anyone else until your fill your own cup first.  At first, you may feel guilty for taking time for yourself.  Once you start doing this regularly, you will see the benefit for your being, as well as the ripple effect on those around you.

Nurturing yourself starts with putting yourself on your to-do list.  Just as you would not cancel an appointment with another person, don’t cancel that time with yourself.  Give yourself at least five minutes a day of uninterrupted time that you spend on you.  This can be when you arrive in the parking lot of the grocery store or even while you are waiting for the kettle to boil.  The point is to make a conscious commitment toHeart yourself to spend at least 5 minutes of your day on you –  either breathe or meditate or listen to an audio that uplifts you.  In doing so, you reset yourself.  If you can carve out more mini pockets of time throughout your day, then do it.  During this time, don’t think about your worries, your list of things to do, or things that are weighing on you.  Make this time about you.  It can be as simple as taking deep breaths for 5 minutes straight.  What you are doing is pressing pause on your being, allowing yourself to reset your state of mind, and creating emotional harmony.

The second part of nurturing yourself is to release any negative emotions or voices that come up because you’re giving to self.  When you honor your being by giving yourself what you need, you can be at your best for everyone else.  When the negative emotions or voices surface, stop and ask yourself where they comes from, and then release them into the ether.

Finally, take at least one action a day that moves you forward in the direction that fits you and your life.  It can be making a dream list; taking one small step, even if it is just researching your dream, learning a new skill, or giving yourself a manicure.  The point is to feed your soul by giving to you.    Make this a daily practice and in 30 days you will have shifted your life in a more positive and healing direction.

No matter where you are right now, or what your financial situation is, you can still give time to your being.  Nurturing yourself is the most healing action you can take for yourself.

What are going to do today to nurture your being?  Share and let me know.

Many blessings,




This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022