We often hear about a Mother’s love being the most powerful force. We can all create such love for ourselves. Whether you have or experienced it or not, you can create this powerful force for yourself by loving yourself.
Loving yourself starts with acknowledging that where you are right now is okay. You get to choose to move forward. You get to decide from the very next moment what direction your life will take.
Even if you are not ready to love yourself fully yet, find one thing about yourself that you can love – maybe your eyes, your smile, how organised you are, how people come to you for advice, a skill you have, or anything that is beautiful about you. This can be a skill, personality trait, even a physical asset. Then focus on this one thing. When disparaging thoughts creep up, stop them in their tracks, and go back to this quality about you that you love. Think of all the ways it has helped you. Allow other supporting thoughts about yourself to come forward.
Next, listen for whose voice is coming through. Often, we have created beliefs about ourselves and our capabilities that are based on the opinions of those around us. Some of them were well-meaning and others not. These beliefs became our default behavior; the actions and reactions we lapse into in any given situation.
When we feel bad about ourselves, most often it is because of something that happened when we were a child that became a default programming for us. It may be a really small incident or it may be so big it has defined our life. You can change this programming at any time in your life. It starts with being aware that it exists. What can you change it to? Write down the harmful fact, then below it, write a better version. Keep cleaning up the version with a better one until you have a new response instead. Keep doing that as you steadily move away from the negative programming. The best version you have to counter this belief is the one you hold onto.
Once you become aware of this harmful belief, recognize whether your thoughts, actions, behaviors or responses support this harmful belief. Immediately remind yourself why this belief is false by using the new programming you have created.
Love yourself with the same care you love others; show yourself the same kindness and respect that you give others.
Most of all, remember that no matter what has happened in your life, you can start from where you are and move forward. You do not have to let the past control your future. Show yourself the love you want others to show you. Be a mother to yourself.
What supportive thoughts are you choosing to have about yourself?