The many ways to love yourself

Loving yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself.  When you truly love yourself, no one can tell you who to be, what to do, or what is right for you, because you know your own heart.   We come into this world knowing that we love ourselves, but as we grow, interact with and experience life, most us forget our own worth. We forget how to love ourselves.  We are born absolutely knowing our worth.  We never doubt our value as babies.  Then the world teaches us that we need to reach certain milestones to have value; that we didn’t follow the accepted path of general society and therefore are worth less; that when we choose ourselves first and let go of harmful relationships, we are failures. 

We can choose to allow these voices, and all the others that make us doubt ourselves, impact the direction of our lives, or we can say no to these voices, and choose instead to listen to our own voice. Tree bark background with the works I Heart Me Connect with your inner being/God/Source and you will feel the resonance of the love for you.  Should you choose to let this love in, it fills your being so completely that there is no room for the negative, dissenting voices out there.

Choose to love yourself.  You are worthy of that love no matter what your past looks like.

Loving yourself can take the form of little acts of kindness to self.   This includes:

  • Saying yes to things that matter, and no to things you do not want to do.
  • Making time for yourself in the same way you would make time for someone else.
  • Choosing what food to put in your body with conscious effort despite what anyone around you thinks of your choice.
  • Adding a daily practice of meditation, or journaling.
  • Choosing the clothes you put on your body according to what feels good to you.
  • Using words towards and about yourself with the same care you do with someone you love dearly.
  • Nurturing your dreams, no matter what anyone thinks of them.

Loving yourself can also be taking big, brave steps towards merging who you are with the face you present to the world.  This includes:

  • Claiming your identity fully – what you believe, who you choose to love, and what resonates with your soul.
  • Declaring who you are in the way you dress and the words you use.
  • Taking action to bring a dream or passion project to life, despite the naysayers.
  • Letting go of those people who limit you, put you down or do not add to your life. And from this space, choosing the people who fit who you are, creating your “family” and tribe, one person at a time. 

There are so many ways of showing love to ourselves.  I challenge you to practice one act of self-love towards yourself every day.  When it becomes a habit, add a second act. Love yourself like you want someone else to love you. 

What are you doing today to show love to yourself?  Share in the comments.

Many Blessings,



This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022