Step 10. Knowing the illusion of separation

posted in: Conversations with Santa | 1

Dear Reader, sometimes being surrounded by others, even while in a relationship, one can feel lonely and isolated.

This state of disconnect or separation is just an illusion and based on our feeling in that moment.

Much of the way we feel comes from how we perceive the situation.  

Consciously changing the way we perceive our situation and it will change the way we feel.

All of us experience this feeling of being alone at one time or another, and it can greatly impact our relationships.  More often than not, our partner is not even aware of our inner state.  Vocalizing our feelings is vital.

Step 10. Knowing the illusion of separation:

Whenever you are feeling isolated and alone, know that you are just imagining it. 

You and your partner are always connected and there are moments you just need to ask for connection. 

It helps at times, to state that you are feeling disconnected or separate from the other person.

Know that we are all one.

When you experience the sense of separation, abandonment or rejection, realize that you are in an illusion.

The truth is that we never separate – we only feel separate.

Agree to being in loving kindness.

Bear in mind that you are not the only one in this relationship that might feel this way.  It takes both you and your partner working together, sharing honestly with one another, to build a successful and strong relationship.


  • What can you do to remind yourself that you are not alone; that separation is just an illusion?
  • Are you feeling disconnected and alone right now?  Will you share this with your partner and are you willing to ask for a connection?



  1. YLChang

    There is definately a lot to learn about this issue.
    I love all of the points you made.