Step 8. Establishing pre-forgiveness

Dear Reader, take a moment to think back on your life about the relationships you have been in…

Every person can attest to having inadvertently hurt another person at some time in their lives. It was not done deliberately or intentionally, but we did cause pain.  We have also been hurt by those closest to us.

We sometimes tend to hold our partner’s behavior against them, behaving as though their actions were intentional.

In every relationship, it is impossible to avoid hurting each other altogether.

So how do you deal with that aspect of partnership?

Step 8. Establishing pre-forgiveness:

Know that even when you have hurt each other, it was not intentional.  But, as humans, we hurt others, particularly those we love. 8. forgiveness 1767432 340

Allow room for mistakes, provided that the individual is taking responsibility for their personal growth. 

Holding on to anger and resentment is like keeping a SCORE CARD.  Know that whatever ill behavior is displayed is done from the “lower self”.  Have your experience and move on. 

Be Spontaneous and instantly committed to forgiving each other. 

Do not enable each other to be “just human”, remember that as spiritual beings we have limitless ability to love, understand, and forgive – while taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness.

Claim loving kindness at all times.


  • Dear Reader, do you find yourself holding on to anger and resentment?  Think about this and answer honestly.
  • Do you have someone you need to forgive in your life?
  • What can you do to remind yourself to let go and forgive your partner?

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This debut memoir chronicles a woman’s spiritual exploration and growth as she overcame a disturbing childhood and helped others heal.

Brought to America from the Dominican Republic as a youngster, Molina-Marshall should have led a happy life. Her father was a diligent worker, and his large family wanted for nothing. But the author recounts that her dad had a drinking problem and was a serial philanderer. Molina-Marshall’s long-suffering mother left him for a woman. Then it was all downhill for the bright, 12-year-old girl, who was shuttled between foster care and relatives. According to the author, she was sexually abused by the husband of one of her siblings. This resulted in Molina-Marshall becoming alienated and moody. By 15, she simply tried to survive. In her favor were grit and a restless intelligence. She quit school, rented a room, and found a factory job. Time went by, and for a while she was happily married. Yet when her husband left her, her life truly began. She turned to religion for answers but decided that blaming God for her woes was a cop-out. 

In this absorbing and moving memoir, Molina-Marshall’s vivid storytelling is fearless. She frankly discusses the truths she discovered and the indignities she suffered. These admissions are disclosed with a touch of resignation and plenty of bite. However painful, everything she experienced was a lesson, and she bravely realized that she was part of the problem: “The fear of being hurt, rejected, or abused often led to me feeling lonely and misunderstood. No one knew the agonizing pain I felt being trapped in my thoughts and anger. I was becoming my biggest threat.” 

The author skillfully recounts her intricate spiritual journey. To deal with her psychic wounds, she searched for an inspirational system. Her open-mindedness led her to the interfaith concept—cherry-picking from various religions and spiritual movements, yoga, and Indigenous beliefs as a way of finding peace. Along with her female partner, she built a therapy practice, making use of every spiritual element that aided her and others. The road was bumpy, and she found that women of color in same-sex relationships were not welcomed everywhere. To do good works—and finally live on her own terms—she effectively overcame bigotry.

An engrossing, cathartic account of empathy and success through determination and confidence.

Pub Date: May 3, 2022   |    ISBN: 978-0-578-38315-6  |   Page Count: 264    | Publisher: From Trauma to Triumph  |   Review Posted Online: June 13, 2022